The problem with stereotypes actually occurs when you can’t be categorized into one. Sure, people love to think they are above categorizing and judging but most secretly love doing it because it makes their lives easier. Let’s go over some basics:
Nerd: The person who studies all the time with no or little social life is the nerd, we don’t expect that person to look very attractive or to get laid a lot.
Slut: The slutty girl or the manwhore– the one who sleeps around, looks good, loves to work on the looks, is usually shallow and focuses on sex. Easy to spot.
The girlie girl: The girl who loves shopping, spas, girls’ days out, loves fashion and Brad Pitt/Leonardo Di Caprio.
Tomcat: A girl with boyish tastes. Easily befriends men but flirting doesn’t come that easily.
The fashion victim: Male or female who just has to buy anything fashionable and has to get rid of anything that is not. They will wear what fashions dictates no matter how ridiculous they might be. Money is not an issue. Deep conversations might be difficult to sustain though.
The hottie: Confident, self-aware and a little arrogant. Knows how good he/she looks.
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……….
You know what I’m talking about. Life is actually easier when you can fit into these groups. They also don’t have that much trouble with the opposite sex. The nerds either hook up with nerds or they just wait to get rich and then they get to hook up with pretty much whomever they want.
But I don’t belong to one category and neither does a good friend of mine. So we are basically screwed. Seriously. Let me show you the examples:
* My friend is a girl. She loves shopping. And she lovessss the Twilight series and fancies Robert Pattinson. Girlie? Yes. But she adores Starwars. She loves sci-fi. She sure likes her beer. Tomcat? Boys’ girl? Sure. But then again she likes her skirts and make-up. So how does a guy handle a girl who loves shopping and Sophie Kinsella and yet loves sci-fi? Then there is the nerd category: She is not a nerd but she is training to be a lawyer so she has to work her ass off. That does damage the social life. She enjoys looking sexy and flirting but she is most definitely not slutty. She would rather make conversation than bedroom eyes. So what happens to her romantically is that she most often ends up attracting the guys she is trying not to attract. The hottie she is dying to get ends up being her mate and the nerd ends up falling for her. The hopelessly romantic yet cute guy loves her to bits but he has already met the girl of his dreams before. What the ….?
*I am not any luckier. I love shopping, Twilight, Sophie Kinsella. But I adore John Grisham and like Dan Brown. I am a sucker for romantic comedies but any good comic book adaptation washes well over me. I don’t like Brad Pitt, I find Jim Carrey handsome and Mel Gibson‘s youth gorgeous. Weird? Read on. I hate housework. I hate dirt but I hate tidying up. I love my mini skirts. I detest cooking and hate fashion. I hate watching sports but I love playing them. I can’t stand any football related computer game but bring on the Guitar Hero! Did I mention I love Sex and the City and have a wardrobe that can easily transform me into Carrie or Samantha? Oh, and I love my black rock t-shirts too. The result? My romantic life sucks. Not because I am unattractive or I don’t know what I want. But every guy around me belongs to a stereotype and he is looking for a stereotype in his own category. Hybrids like us need hybrids. Until we do find them, we are just going to have to live in the dream world. After all, that is where we find the hot guy who is not arrogant, who is romantic but not a dork, who is sweet and considerate and not possessive, who knows what he wants, who can be friends with women but not want to sleep with them all, has other favorite actresses other than Megan Fox, who can enjoy sports other than football/basketball/wrestling/boxing, who doesn’t think that men who can dance are all gay….
See? I told you we were screwed…
:)))) loved your article….you should write more articles like this one …e.g. you can write our “imaginary/not happening” adventures..hahahahh:))
we are totally screwed…
“the friend mentioned above”
Great analysis! however, a couple more examples wouldn’t have been out of place.
Well, I am more than happy to hear out your examples. I should add the problem with being the boy/girl next door- in the movies meg ryan/hugh dancy always get the person they want. But in real life you can hardly get out of the friend zone. Once you are labeled as a friend, it really doesn’t matter how good you are or how good you can look.
And pinar, my namesake and unbiological sister, I should write about the non-happenings 🙂 I am just thinking about where to start. There are so many of them 🙂
Don’t think because you are a hybrid so your romantic life sucks. I am a stereotypical person and my romantic life sucks big time. It is hard to find a girl who I actually like.
Nice article by the way.
Thanks. OK, I admit that romance is difficult to find in general -especially if you know what you want. Some people just date for the sake of dating but if you are after intense feelings, fun and excitement all in one place, you are screwed.
ok… ok… give me five minutes, I just have to go in the other room and kill myself…
Why did you say that? It can’t be because your romantic life is worse than mine?:)))
And I know our expectations are similar so yeah, we are both screwed…
What are you talking about? Wich romantic life? I even forgot the meaning of these words. Ok so stereotypes do exist and people relate to them for ease of understanding. That’s sadly true. So what am I supposed to do? A tall/black/russian girl, with no cultural habits because grew up in half world? No orientation to any category but an indistinct soup of tastes and passions and interests. Hybrids are so difficult to find exactly because are not the norm. And when you’re so lucky to find one is disinterested or just damn too short to arrive to your mouth. Life is hilarious! Nobody better that me could understand what you’re talking about but let me tell you something: it may be difficult but it’s not impossible and when it happens, when two uncommon individuals meet and (miracle!) they do like each other and they perfectly fit, then time stops and possibilities for a memorable encounter are higher than average.
Beautiful things are always difficult.
Yeah, my romance traffic is really, really slow. I should really blame it on my parents for taking me to see Dirty Dancing when I was 3. In their defense, they realized I only stopped being hyper at the movies. But if you show a girl Patrick Swayze’s character who can dance and can commit that early, she is bound to have disappointments later on:)
For some reason, I believe I am more likely to find romance in Canada or The States because they are really mixed up. That, and they have great concerts:)
You are right. Sometimes the hybrid you meet is not interested. Sometimes he is too short. Sometimes he is just..into stereotypes. Damn. The world is cruel. I once met a hybrid in high school. At least I thought he was. He was tall and cute and interested…But it turned out he was really…well, idiotic. So the magic died almost as quickly and strongly as it started. Oh well. Maybe that’s why I love writing romance/drama/comedy type stories. I love creating beautifully difficult stories.
Well, did you watch Sex and The City? I loved that show. Anyway, some of my friends treat me like I am the conservative and gullible one (Charlotte) and some of them treat me as the sex-crazed Samantha- whereas I am neither. But that’s being a hybrid for you. Even your friends don’t get you. But if they read the blog a little, or really paid attention, they would realize I was closest to Carrie. Not totally, but it is a better likeness:)
I saw every episode of Sex and the city. I loved it so much. It was like a divorce or a mourning when it finished. I understand what you mean, when even your friends don’t understand you. We are complex and non-standardized human beings, potentially all of us. But few choose the lone voice. If I have to describe myself I think that I’m none of those characters. Sometimes I’m Charlotte, when it comes to simplicity and purity. Sometimes I’m cynical and heavy like Miranda. There are days, specially in spring, that I’m horny and uninhibited (at least in words) like Samantha. I have to say that I’m quite never like Carrie… We show to people one or another side of us, and it strongly depends on who we are talking to or how we feel that day. Even if we have only friends around us that (is supposed) know us. I think is human nature. That’s why movies are so beautiful, everything is simple and clear, everybody know who they are and are consistent with themselves. And generally roles are delineated and everyone knows what to do and how to behave. That’s why people need to become a stereotipe, to make things simple for themselves. And if you aren’t able to do that life is difficult but…..oh……much more interesting:)
🙂 Well, the things I have an in common with Samatha:
-PR education: I am advertising major, doubled-major with Business. I had PR classes and I worked as an intern at a PR agency.
– Smith. I mean is that guy the absolute hunk or is he the absolute hunk?
– the fact that she is not getting married or she is not into kids. I have a tendency to love my life too much. I would marry if Smith asked me, but that’s a little besides the point:)
With Charlotte:
Not much. Maybe the fact that I am more into traditional sex than all the kinks Samantha is into so that might count. Other than that, not so much.
With Miranda:
Some sarscasm. Being into my career. Some feminism. That’s it.
With Carrie:
– Half her wardrobe. (half is just unbearable or too mismatched)
– Shoe/clothes love ( I am not that much of an addict and I sure wouldn’t spend more on shoes than on my apartment but I like shoes and clothes. I am not gonna lie.
– Love of writing, and finding material for her writing from her life.
– Her taste in men. Mostly. Big looks good. She dated Jon Bon Jovi in one episode. Timothy Olyphant…And oh…I was heartbroken when Aidan left. That guy is The One for me.
– The need for excitment, passion, romance and fun all at once. But I hate drama and I wouldn’t cheat so that sets me apart.
So I am a lot like Carrie in a lot of things. But yeah, mostly things are complicated. You can check out my Sex and City tribute if you like:
https://pinartarhan.com/blog/sex-and-the-city/
I just hope we meet more people who are not that into stereotypes and are willing to assess people individually. Fingers crossed…
well…according to these types I would call myself as a WINEWOMAN who likes WINE, reads books, is business oriented, but also entertainment-oriented (:), friend-based life style, enjoying shopping (even in fashion stores),coffee, like curing, frequently visiting hairdresser, love well groomed-men but also like politics, football, art and smart people…I never waste my time for idiots…so..like this article..it makes me aware myself and tell me..which type I am included in?..;)
Ha ha, you are definitely and unfortunately a hybrid as well:) You love well-groomed men, but you don’t like men who spend hours in the gym. You love the men well-groomed and masculine, but not macho. Not dependent but not so focused on themselves that they can’t be a part of a couple. Most of all, you want a man who can handle your energy and social life. Oh yeah, you are a hybrid and you are in trouble. Fortunately, though, you are not alone:)
Being the romantic that I am, I do believe in soulmates and couples who complement each other with their weaknesses and strengths. And speaking in numbers, there has to be a man who is just perfect for you. I am just not sure if he lives in your country, though:)))