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The “Shit-I’m-too late/too-old Syndrome”

Posted on October 21, 2009 Written by ripitup

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It’s so easy and so common to get into this way of thinking. As you grow older- even if you are in your mid 2os- you hear this phrase a lot. People talk about how late it is to start over. How late it is to make a dramatic career change.      To start a new relationship. As depressing and somewhat convenient to feel that way, it’s also insanely ridiculous. It is hard to shake the thoughts if you are living in to a society where people seem to be dying to start their careers and get married and have kids. And it looks like a lot of societies are like this. Hell, the first time I heard the words “my biological clock is ticking” was on American TV and the woman was merely in her late 20s. Come on, give me a break! I don’t know why people are so willing to conform to such inconvenient stuff. The fact that some people met the love of their loves in high school doesn’t automatically oblige you to marry your boyfriend at the moment in a rush. And if your friend has gotten his/her dream career at the age of 23, it is her life. Not yours. There is not a timeline everybody can follow or has to follow. Luckily, I manage to isolate myself from this syndrome most of the time. I used to have a strategy to cope. Whenever I seemed to be lose hope, I would remind myself that I would never forgive myself if I didn’t just work my ass off and didn’t do everything humanly possible. But then I read a great life story and well, I figured the advice in that book was much more effective and efficient. A Turkish drama student went to the Stated upon graduation. He was 26. He started to live the starving actor’s life, in a different country and at the age of 26. His name is Aykut “Ike” Ogut and about a decade later he was pretty much where he wanted to be – with still a lot of things to do for himself. Oh, and believe me the guy didn’t have it easy. He went through poverty, drinking too much, having health problems, depression…But he didn’t give up. And he made it. He jokes that he is yet to be in a movie with Tom Cruise. But from where I look, he is doing pretty good. He lived in L.A and New York, he played both little and big parts, he directed sound departments. He is happy, well-off and quite successful. Not the mention, it is quite a long and complicated journey. But he did it. First he had to start and he started at 26. So it is only natural that he would write a book on self-growth and motivation and how to achieve the stuff you want to achieve, no matter how insanely difficult it might seem. His words work just fine for me and I’m 25. And my plans are just as complicated, including the whole going to L.A. and making it in Hollywood thing. Of course he is only human and he does occasionally get depressed and wonder if he can pull some stuff off.Like writing this book when he was 35. Writing is hard and I can imagine how much endurance books will take. But he didn’t give in. This time he just read about the accomplishments of authors who got published after the age of 35. See? It’s a wonderful way for the mind to work.

Ogut’s advice relates all areas. I f you want to be an actor, but you are yet to start, you are supposed to encourage yourself by reading about people who have gone through similar paths. It is ridiculous to compare for an actress to be in her 20s to compare herself to Jodie Foster and say “Boy, I’m too late! I’m too old to start!” Well, by Jodie’s standards everybody is screwed. I mean she was acting in commercials when she was in diapers. She was acting with Robert De Niro when she was 13. You are not supposed to think like that. But by all means, please think about Gerard Butler. He actually has a law degree. He didn’t start acting until he was 25. Sure, he did fantasize about it but he didn’t even really try. He was from Scotland, and already in his mid-20s. But he hated the office and took his chances. Have you checked him out? He is one of Hollywood’s most sought after leading man. And Britain’s. He got to play Irish, Scottish and American roles. He did action, comedy, drama, romance AND musicals. He did theater and movies. This is the guy you should be reading about. Not Tom Cruise who got his first acting gig it in 19. You should also avoid the failure stories. Sure, not every one makes it but it doesn’t mean you are not going to be able to succeed.

It is not just about acting. It’s about everything. People can find true love at 50, or at 15. You can make your dreams come true at any age. Of course it might be tough if you try to be olympic-good at an athletic sport after 30,as Seth Godin puts it in his book “The Dip” . But other than that, you can bungee-jump at 83 (has been done and the guy is live. make sure to get some tests before though, just in case), you can be American and get to play in Japanese TV shows after you hit 30 (Timothy Ferris) or you can also get yourself published at 60. Of course I am not telling you to take it slow ans wait. I am just saying that whenever you get stuck, there are plenty of real life examples of people who come from similar backgrounds as you and that their stories are the perfect way to get inspired.

Oh sure, you will have a pessimistic friend who says he/she gets more depressed with stories like that. Hell, maybe even you are that easily depressed friend. You can always find an excuse not to put yourself out there. I am just trying to help out with finding the reasons not to stop trying.

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Filed Under: Dreams and Careers Tagged With: Aykut Ogut, career management, careers, Gerard Butler, Hollywood, Jodie Foster, Seth Godin, The Dip, Timothy Ferriss, Tom Cruise

Tom Cruise: The Actor Movie-Goers Love to Hate and Hate to Love

Posted on August 15, 2009 Written by ripitup

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tom-cruise-2
Tom Cruise

I thought about writing a “what on earth happened to you” sort of article for Tom Cruise, just like I did with Mel Gibson, but I thought it wouldn’t be fair. Because although Tom makes us question his sanity with his extreme commitment to Scientology and all the weird gossips going on around him, I still like him as an actor. Unlike Mel, Tom has not appeared in many movies that I don’t like, because apart from Eyes Wide Shut and War of the Worlds, I pretty much like all his work. His appearance also improved as he got older- from cute to sexy and attractive. In fact, the only problem I have with his appearance is his height. His 170 cm.s (5’7″) is not exactly star material. But hey, the guy is one of the richest in Hollywood and I believe his movies deserve that popularity.

Before
Before
My fav. look on Tom
My fav. look on Tom. Can be seen in Mission Impossible 2 and Vanilla Sky.

I started to question his sanity after he broke up with Nicole Kidman. Sure heightwise they weren’t the most compatible, Kidman being 179 cm.s (5′ 10″) but lookswise, hell they looked so beautiful together. And they were married for what? 11 years? I know relationships go awry all the time and marriages are even harder but still…If they stuck together that long in Hollywood, there must once have been so strong between them. Now he is married to Katie Holmes.

Tom with Kidman
Tom with ex-wife Nicole Kidman.
Tom with Holmes
Tom with Holmes

If people are going to complain about Matthew McConaughey or Kate Hudson or Ryan Reynolds taking on the same roles, playing the same people, they should really take Katie Holmes to the top of their list. When I was  about 14 or 15, I liked Dawson’s Creek. First 2 seasons or so were good-until it became a partner-swapping story. Oh, you know: three guys, 3 boys. Intra-group dating. You imagine the so-called drama and the complications. And Katie Holmes’ pouting. Oh my God, she was- and is- so annoying. She really has one facial expression. Her movie roles did not bring out anything new and for me, Tom’s marrying Holmes seemed like a step down. Nicole’s beauty and versatility as an actress and then to Holmes…Oh well, they seem happy together so I’ll shut up about it. But of course Katie added another thing to the list of things I don’t like about Cruise. Plus, everything about their relationship was so in our face, they were so hard to avoid. There was a time we talked about his movies right?

So leaving his personal life aside… Sometimes I think 80s and 90s were much better times to become stars. Think of Brad Pitt, Keanu Reeves and Tom Cruise- I am thinking it will be hard- if not impossible- to reach this kind of popularity and make this much money for male stars. Tom has evolved-both in appearance and acting-since his Risky Business days. He has played in comedy, drama, thriller, war, action and so on. He was nominated for an academy award for 3 times (2 for best actor and 1 for best supporting role). His harmless feel good movies such as Cocktail and Risky Business are classics. No need to mention Top Gun made him. Even though I find most Oliver Stone movies pretentious, I was genuinely touched by Born on the 4th of July. List goes on. But my favorite Tom Cruise ever is Jerry Maguire. It is one of the loveliest stories ever written and although it made me a follower of its writer/director Cameron Crowe, Jerry Maguire remains my fav.

Let’s take a trip in history:

(hey I can’t include everything, you know he has been in a lot of films!!!)

Tom Cruise as a teenager who gets to party home with friends and a hooker. 1983.
Tom Cruise as a teenager who gets to party home with friends and a hooker. 1983. Risky Business.
Flying School. Lots of action. Romance. Classic Tony Scott film. 1986.
Flying School. Lots of action. Romance. Classic Tony Scott film Top Gun. 1986. There is Val Kilmer too!
Dustin Hoffman won Best Actor Academy Award for his portrayal of the autistic older brother to Tom Cruise's character. It is an amazing road trip. Fun and deep. 1988.
Dustin Hoffman won Best Actor Academy Award for his portrayal of the autistic older brother to Tom Cruise's character. It is an amazing road trip. Fun and deep. 1988. Rain Man is a should-see.
A young man is too willing to go fight in Vietnam. But then he loses a lot. in the war and his return makes for a great anti-war battle. 1989.
A young man is too willing to go fight in Vietnam. But then he loses a lot in the war and his return makes for a great anti-war battle. 1989. Tom Cruise was directed by Oliver Stone. Might be the only Stone movie I ever liked.
Military Drama/ Thriller. Amazing cast: Nicholson, Moore, Kevin Bacon and Kiefer Sutherland. 1992.

First movie of the triology based on the popular tv show of the same name. I prefer the second and the third. 1996.
First movie of the triology based on the popular tv show Mission Impossible. I prefer the 2nd and the 3rd. 1996.

Sports manager J. Maguire takes a big risk when he cares for his clients. He gets his ass fired and a life changing journey starts. I will write its own post. 1996.
Sports manager Jerry Maguire takes a big risk when he cares for his clients. He gets his ass fired and a life changing journey starts. 1996.

vanilla_sky
It is just a wonderful epic. Lots of action, great cinematography. Saw it 2 times at the theater. 2003.
The Last Samurai is a gloriously wonderful epic. Lots of action, great cinematography. Saw it 2 times at the theater. 2003.

Yes, I still love his movies. As long as he doesn’t talk about his “religion” and stops trying to prove how much he loves Katie on Oprah (remember the time he jumped around on the couch???) , I’ll be fine.

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Filed Under: Movies and Actors Tagged With: a few good men, Academy-award winning movies, jerry maguire, katie holmes, Matthew McConaughey, Mission Impossible, Nicole Kidman, Tom Cruise, Tom Cruise movies, Top Gun

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