pinartarhan.com

Fun and comprehensive entertainment blog feat. movies, TV series, actors, movie-makers, music & books: 1980 - Present

  • Home
  • Hire Me
  • Books
  • Privacy Policy

The “Nice” Hitmen: Movies’ 6 Deadliest Cuddly Hitmen

Posted on August 10, 2018 Written by Pinar Tarhan

Share

As readers and writers, we’re drawn to grey characters. We can’t help it. And what’s greyer and more complicated than a hit man with a romantic side, conscience and/or high moral standards?

Sure, killing is bad. Killing isn’t a choice we can approve in real life.

That said, we don’t exactly love watching accountants (though The Accountant is a fun movie about a highly atypical accountant), angelic social workers, or extremely ethical and by-the-book lawyers on screen.

We want characters that can kick ass, draw blood and inflict pain on those who deserve it. We also want them to have a side that knows to protect the innocent.

Now, the movies  I’ve picked are mainly from the 90s or more recent. Don’t hesitate to add your favorites in the comments, from whatever era they might be. I’d love to check those movies out.

But here’re some of the first hitmen I and some of my dear friends love and remember.

  • Léon starring Jean Reno (1994)
Image via ebay.

Ah, the first gentle hitman most of my generation has been exposed to. A middle-aged contract killer saves a girl whose family is killed, and he goes on to protect and mentor her. Of course of all the relationships here, the one between Léon and his young friend (12-year-old friend, to be exact) is the most ambiguous and controversial.

Was it a father/daughter thing? Was it romantic? It kind of looked that way to some extent.

But either way, Léon keeps her alive. I need to rewatch this as it has been awhile. Oh, and Gary Oldman is the baddie.

 

  • Assassins starring Sylvester Stallone (1995)
Image via timelessmoviemagic.com.

The 90s is the era where a lot of my favorite movies come from. A lot of entertaining and dearly rewatchable movies came out of that decade. Assasins is one of my favorite action films to revisit.

First, the casting is awesome and weird:

Sylvester Stallone as the “cuddly” hitman, a gorgeous but wacky Antonio Banderas as the “villain” hitman, and Julianne Moore as an introverted, cat-loving and smart hacker. But it somehow works in that 90s way.

Stallone’s character deserves to be here because he has a strong sense of morality: He doesn’t kill the innocent (which unsurprisingly doesn’t include other hitmen who might or might not be his friends).

Banderas’ character will kill anything and anyone if it means he’ll get paid or even pleasure and convenience. And boy, does he love to kill.

So when Stallone fails to kill Moore and chooses to protect her instead, a stubborn Banderas is sent after to finish the job. Moore and Stallone become partners in crime (in getting the killers off their back, not killing), while also liking each other. And really, if you’re a cyber-criminal who doesn’t like most people, an almost-retired hitman who has a romantic side does sound eligible. Oh, and he likes cats!

 

  • Grosse Pointe Blank starring John Cusack (1997)  

 

Image via discogs.

John Cusack plays a hilariously neurotic hitman with issues. The pace (and the comedy) picks up when he needs to go to his high school reunion and kind of falls for an old classmate in the process. There’ll be a lot of shooting and blood before this guy can find his happily-ever-after.

 

  • John Wick starring Keanu Reeves  (2014)
Image via John Wick Wiki.

I’d argue John Wick is the most realistic action film here. Our hero sure does kick too much ass, and we need to suspend some disbelief, but at least he runs out of bullets and gets hurt and stuff.

But the style, pace, and fight choreography make John Wicirresistibletable addition to the genre. The character seems tailor-made for Keanu Reeves: silent, reserved, and smooth; deadly only when disturbed.

John Wick is the perfect romantic hero too: he is a bad-boy-turned-good when he falls in love and leaves the business of killing. (I didn’t see anything bad besides the job, but come on, having been a hitman for the mob is surely enough to label him bad). And he doesn’t want to return. He grieves quietly for his deceased wife with the adorable dog she gifted him and gets the adrenaline pumping by driving his beloved car.

But when his former boss’s clueless, entitled, and stupid excuse for a son kills his dog, beats him up, and steals his car, he is understandably mad and decides to kill him. It’s not his fault the boss decides to send an army after him and increases collateral damage.

But can we get behind a gorgeous, charismatic and kickass retired killer who is avenging the memory of his wife and getting rid of the world of some very bad people in the process? Absolutely.

 

  • Shoot ‘em Up starring Clive Owen (2007)
Image via FilmAffinity.

This is the funniest film on the list and also has the best soundtrack. It might be the most entertaining too. Anyway, my judgment is a bit biased. I love a good mindless entertainment flick. I also love rock music, Clive Owen, and Paul Giamatti. So… The movie might change how you feel about carrots, though. You’ve been warned.

So we have a homeless-looking, carrot-eating and very competent killer who happens to help a woman give birth. When the mother is killed, he saves the baby and just tries to survive with the baby through the whole movie. At some point, he needs the assistance of former flame/prostitute ……. who provides some motherly love for the little one, and a totally different kind of loving to our sexy hitman. 

 

  • Crying Freeman starring Mark Dacascos (1995)
Image via Tmdb.

Frankly, I don’t like Crying Freeman as much as the others, but it has its own appeal. It’s based on a comic book, and the movie goes by comic book logic and physics, which is what makes this flick fun. If you don’t take anything seriously, you’ll probably have a better time.

But the hitman is gorgeous, and when he “confronts” his supposed victim/murder witness, she’s in her bathrobe and in her bedroom. She was quite taken by him, having already painted an impressive and sizable portrait of the killer. Now, I should mention that she’s not exactly the most rational and life-loving person on the planet, having lost her parents to another hitman and blamed it on herself for about two decades.

So her reaction to about to be killed by this guy is lying on the bed and closing her eyes. His reaction to this is taking his clothes off and getting on the bed with her, and then well…you know.

Of course, he has to do some naked killing after their hot session, but it all comes with the territory. But at least these killers had the decent timing of coming after they had sex, so they didn’t give our hitman, called Crying Freeman, the chance to prove he could kill people while he’s giving his object of lust/love an orgasm. (Yes, I’m referring to the Shoot ‘em Up scene between Clive Owen and Monica Belluci.)

*

There should be a sexy and conscionable contract killers list for female characters, but honestly, I couldn’t think of anyone besides Nikita. And I’m more familiar with the TV series where she wasn’t exactly a contract killer.

So please do mention your favorite female killers that fit the context. Who are your favorite deadly but cuddly hitmen?

 

 

Share

Filed Under: Movies and Actors Tagged With: assassins, Clive Owen, crying freeman, grosse pointe black, Jean Reno, john cusack, john wick, Keanu Reeves, Leon, mark dacascos, movies with hitmen, Shoot 'em up, Sylvester Stallone

Shoot ’em Up! starring Clive Owen, Monica Belluci and Paul Giamatti

Posted on January 29, 2010 Written by ripitup

Share

Clive Owen and Monica Belluci in Shoot 'Em Up
Clive Owen and Monica Belluci in Shoot 'Em Up. Fast, cool, sexy and hard rock all around.

This movie kicks ass. It is exciting, fast, sexy, funny, clever and as exaggerated as a computer game but it just works. Imagine a roller-coaster ride. Only, it is better, because the movie just never loses momentum.

Smith (Clive Owen) is a lone ranger minding his own business. The guy is so cool, he makes eating carrots look cool. So he gets annoyed to see that a heavily pregnant woman is being chased by gun men. He just has to get involved. There are many shooters but he takes care of them as if they are merely still targets. He even kills a guy with a carrot. Oh ,yeah. And you thought the carrot wouldn’t come in handy?! The shooters just keep coming and Smith takes care of them all the while help deliver the baby. He gets to save the baby and all the shooters come after him. So from that point on, we embark this uber-cool journey as this 6’2” stranger takes care of a newborn, gets assistance from his hooker friend (Monica Belluci), shoots men tens at a time as the audience gets to watch with a big grin on their faces.

It is absurd and totally unrealistic. But Clive Owen plays Smith to such perfection and you think: That guy is like smarter, cooler, faster and better than we have ever seen on screen and he can pull that off. He is also full-of one liners. You so wish you could know a guy like Smith and have him watch your back (and I am thinking if you are a woman, you would want to take him to bed too-the guy can shoot up everyone all the while continuing to give the woman an orgasm. And no, it is not my fantasy, it is a scene in the movie)

Paul Giamatti plays the ultimate psycho and Smith’s main enemy. His motives aren’t all that clear but his acting sure adds to the movie’s coolness.

The baby is fantatic. It smiles when Smith talks about guns and sleeps when he hears heavy metal.

Oh, and if by any chance you love rock music, the soundtrack is awesome. It includes Motorhead, Motley Crue, Nirvana, AC/DC, Wolfmother, Iggy Pop and more.

Fun as hell. See it. I take a movie this fun over any serious film or a light chick-film any day.

[pro-player width=’530′ height=’253′ type=’video’]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jlx4n_ibNZE[/pro-player]

Posts on Clive Owen:

* Clive Owen Trivia: 21 Facts about Clive Owen

* Duplicity Movie Review – Duplicity also features Paul Giamatti

* The Boys Are Back Movie Review

* Beyond Borders Movie Review

* Closer

* Elizabeth The Golden Age

* The International

* Derailed

*Inside Man

Share

Filed Under: Movies and Actors Tagged With: Clive Owen, Clive Owen movies, films with clive owen, monica belluci, monica belluci clive owen, paul giamatti, rock soundtrack, Shoot 'em up, shoot 'em up trailer, shoot them up, thriller

In the mood for a fun romcom novel?

Copyright © 2025 · Focus Pro on Genesis Framework · WordPress · Log in

This website uses cookies to improve your experience. We'll assume you're ok with this, but you can opt-out if you wish.Accept Reject Read More
Privacy & Cookies Policy

Privacy Overview

This website uses cookies to improve your experience while you navigate through the website. Out of these, the cookies that are categorized as necessary are stored on your browser as they are essential for the working of basic functionalities of the website. We also use third-party cookies that help us analyze and understand how you use this website. These cookies will be stored in your browser only with your consent. You also have the option to opt-out of these cookies. But opting out of some of these cookies may affect your browsing experience.
Necessary
Always Enabled
Necessary cookies are absolutely essential for the website to function properly. This category only includes cookies that ensures basic functionalities and security features of the website. These cookies do not store any personal information.
Non-necessary
Any cookies that may not be particularly necessary for the website to function and is used specifically to collect user personal data via analytics, ads, other embedded contents are termed as non-necessary cookies. It is mandatory to procure user consent prior to running these cookies on your website.
SAVE & ACCEPT