And this year’s most overrated movie award goes to….Black Swan. Well, maybe not even just this year’s. I think I need to give up on Darren Aronofsky’s films because after The Fountain, Requiem for a Dream and Black Swan, I’m quitting on this guy. Requiem for a Dream was just as bleak and depressing it was supposed to be. It was a hard thing to watch but at least it was engaging. I don’t think Black Swan and The Fountain were meant to be boring. Oh well.

There are many things wrong with Black Swan but let’s go over the plot first:

**

Nina Sayers (Natalie Portman) is a talented and dedicated ballet dancer. She lives with her controlling mother Erica (Barbara Hershey) and lives to get the dual role of Black Swan/White Swan in Swan Lake during the new season. Her teacher Thomas (Vincent Cassel) thinks she is perfect as White Swan but isn’t sure she can pull the evil twin off. After all, she is timid, sexually repressed and pale. But somehow she gets the part and as the show gets closer, she starts getting more anxious. She is also seeing stuff. And what’s up with the new hot student Lily (Mila Kunis) who seems to want to be “close friends”. Will Nina be able to perform without losing it?

**

I’ll admit to seeing Black Swan purely because I gave in to the hype. Rated 8.6 on IMDB? Nominated for 5 Oscars? Golden Globe for Natalie Portman? I thought maybe it might be worth the time. Trust me, it isn’t.

Black Swan is one of the most annoying and boring films I have seen. People see movies for many different reasons. Sometimes you want to get blown away with imagination. Inception does that. Sometimes you just want an interesting true story told in a compelling way. The Social Network kicks butt at that. And sometimes, all you need is pure, pop-corn entertainment and The Tourist gives you all the fluff you need in a pretty package. Or you just want a decent epic movie with all the costumes and acting and budget. This year we don’t have epic but we do have a period piece – King’s Speech.

Now, these reasons above are also my reasons for seeing movies. I want to have fun or be in awe or be inspired or a combination of these, if I’m lucky. But I always want an enjoyable story. I want an enjoyable soundtrack. And I want interesting characters. Black Swan offers none. And don’t get me started on the dialogue.

The movie is all about Nina’s uninteresting life. She was raised by an obsessive mother, seduced by a pervert of a teacher and well, she is not so normal herself. Nina is boring, so is her story. The problem is, this drama/thriller is not dramatic or thrilling. I think it could make a lovely dance show if told in 30-45 minutes. But as a movie? Doesn’t work. And frankly, I wish Ricky Gervais had made some jokes about this one at the Golden Globes too.

Oh well. The only times I had fun watching this was when I saw Lost Girl’s Kenzi- Ksenia Solo, cast as a bitch. And it was nice taking a peek at Winona Ryder. Being a 90s kid, she has nostalgic value. But these two aren’t enough to make the experience bearable.

Fun notes:

–          Barbara Hershey dated Lost’s Sayid Naveen Andrews for 10 years. They broke up in 2009. She is 21 years older than Naveen.

–          French actor Vincent Cassel is married to Italian babe of an actress Monica Belluci and both Vincent and Monica co-starred with English actor Clive Owen in separate films. Vincent Cassel played the baddie in the thriller/drama Derailed, and Monica Belluci starred in the highly fast and entertaining action film Shoot ‘Em Up.

–          Vincent and Monica also starred in the extra-controversial film Irreversible together.

–          Maybe I shouldn’t swear off Darren’s films just yet as he is directing in Hugh Jackman in the second Wolverine movie. If he makes Wolverine boring… Fingers crossed, he won’t.

Other Natalie Portman Movies:

Love and Other Impossible Pursuits: The Natalie Portman Movie We Aren’t Excited About

Coming Soon:Thor starring Chris Hemsworth, Anthony Hopkins & Natalie Portman

Overrated: Closer starring Natalie Portman, Clive Owen, Julia Roberts & Jude Law

Preview: No Strings Attached starring Portman & Ashton Kutcher

Beautiful Girls starring Timothy Hutton, Matt Dillon, Natalie Portman, Uma Thurman