Ever since Friends and Coupling ended, I have been on the lookout for my next favorite comedy. Nope, How I Met Your Mother doesn’t do it for me. Sure, it is entertaining sometimes but it doesn’t hook me. It is something to watch if I’m eating and it is on.
The reason? You see- Barney isn’t funny after Friends’ Joey or Coupling’s Patrick-both notorious womanizers that come with great lines. Hey, Joey has confidence and he is an actor. Patrick is…in the words of his ex Susan…a tripod. Oh well, the feeling is mutual.
The greatest fans of How I Met Your Mother don’t typically like Friends. I guess they like their actors to have all the technology, to be dressed in fashion and they prefer the sense of humor. Hey, you can read my Coupling and How I Met Your Mother posts for more reasons.
Modern Family lost me after 3 episodes. My friend assured me that it gets a lot funnier, but you see- to me- Ed O’Neill is Al Bundy. Yes, he is a great actor who he can pull off any role- but he can never be as funny as Al Bundy, and Modern Family isn’t a match for the ultimate loser family- the Bundys.
I’ll get into specifics, and I hope Married with Children fans stay on and get nostalgic. There’ll be quotes!!!
Married with Children Premise and Characters
Al Bundy (Ed O’Neill) is a shoe salesman. He hates his job and his life. His wife and two kids don’t respect him, and according to them (and to any other character in the Married with Children universe) – being a shoe salesman is the worst fate a man can ever have. His customers are usually fat women with bad tempers. He fondly remembers his high school years when he scored 4 touchdowns in one game and was single with no kids…
Peggy Bundy (Katey Sagal) is the most undomestic housewife you can ever meet. She hates housework, rarely cooks and is bad at it, is very unsupportive of Al when it comes to his job. Her hobbies are daytime TV, shopping and making fun of Al. She is constantly demanding sex from Al, and rarely getting it.
Al and Peggy have been married for a long time, and even thought they love putting the other down, they don’t have the will or the energy to go do something else. And despite the fact that they openly lust after a hot person when they see one, they never cheat on each other. So their love-hate relationship, along with their political incorrectness and absolute inappropriateness add to the hilarity of the show.
Kelly Bundy (Christina Applegate) is their gorgeous, slutty, and not-so-smart teenage daughter. Her hobbies are talking on the phone, dating boys and annoying little brother Bud.
Bud Budy (David Faustino) is a manipulative, smart kid who loves making his sister’s life hell. And as he grows up, we see that he can’t use his brain cells when it comes to girls.
Marcy (Amanda Bearse) and Steve Rhoades (David Garrison) are the next door couple and the complete opposite of Bundys. They are newly and happily married, they have a regular and satisfying sex life and they make good money. More often than not their appearances annoy the hell out of Al, but he has a love-hate-benefit relationship with his neighbors.
After Steve
After Steve lost all of his materialistic ambitious and ran off to become a park ranger, Marcy stayed single for a while.
But in the 5th season, during one episode she announced she got drunk at a party, passed out and woke up married. The husband turned out to be Jefferson Darcy (Ted McGinley) a younger, good-looking man who didn’t do much apart from staying pretty.
While some people think that the show got less funny after Steve, you need to remember that Ted McGinley joined the show well after 100 episodes. And while we still loved the characters and things were still funny, the novelty effect had worn off.
I don’t remember exactly when Married with Children stopped being hilarious, and I’m currently on season 7 (again) and am still having a blast. While I don’t get laughing cramps all the time, it is still a bloody good time.
Favorite Lines
You have to see Married with Children- to hear the lines, see the facial expressions and interactions to see what the fuss is all about. I started re-watching the series, and it is still funny as hell. Is it always great? No-towards the latest seasons, the jokes and the characters become too predictable and a lot less funny. You start guessing what character will make what joke, and be right %80 of the time.
But that being said, it is one of the funniest shows ever made – and you have quite a bit of episodes to enjoy before getting bored. Yes, it is a sitcom with laughing tracks, 80s and 90s exaggerated fashion and good music (I love the 80s and 90s, so the music is a plus for me).
Yes, it is out there, and yes- the characters would be obnoxious in real life. But together, in that show, for a very long time, they make the audience laugh hard. I still remember some of the lines back when I first starting watching it. You are by all means allowed to hate it, but at least do yourself a favor and try it.
I’ll add more quotes soon.
Married with Children Season 2, Episode 11: How Do You Spell Revenge?
Kelly: Dad, can I talk to you?
Al: Why?
Kelly: Please, it’s important daddy.
Al: OK. Now, listen this is not about sex, is it? ’Cause I don’t know anything about that.
Kelly: I know. Mum told me.
*
Al: (talking to Kelly) I’m not saying it is bad to be a girl-(then adding) I’d rather be dead myself (continues talking with a straight face)
*
Al: Oh great! My daughter is dating the spawn of Norman Bates and Seabiscuit! (on finding out that Kelly’s boyfriend is the son of Peggy’s ugly ex and his horribly fat wife.)
Season 2, Episode 13: You Better Watch Out
Al: Bud, apologize to your sister.
Bud: No.
Al: Ok.
*
Kelly: Can we go to that new Lakeside Mall?
Al: No, we can’t and I’ll tell you why. That mall is killing your father.
Bud: I thought mom was doing that.
*
Season 2, Episode 14: Guys and Dolls
(on Bud’s bad grade and torturing his sister)
Peggy: I think I know what the problem is. He has too much free time. What can we do about it?
Al: We could get him a wife.
Season 2, Episode 15: Build a Better Moustrap
Al: This is great! “Daddy, I need money.” “Daddy, I need food”. “We need somebody to clean after a mouse with a broken neck”…Just once I’d like to hear-“Al, I’m outta here I’m taking the kids”. But on the good side, life is half over.
*
Al: You know I have no insurance so you must be killing me for the sport.
*
Season 2, Episode 17: Peggy Loves Al – Yeah, Yeah, Yeah
Peggy: Honey, you want something special for Valentine’s Day?
Al: Yeah, but she’s wrestling in the mud and I’m just living there.
*
The door rings- Peggy guesses:
Peggy: Maybe it’s Cupid.
Al: Nah, he never shows his face around here after making this match.
*
(On their traditional Valentine’s Day Sex)
Al: Now, the kids are upstairs. We probably shouldn’t do it up there with your screaming and everything.
Peggy: No, Al. That’s your fault. You were the one who turned the lights on.
