The “Shit-I’m-too late/too-old Syndrome”

Posted on October 21, 2009 Written by ripitup

It’s so easy and so common to get into this way of thinking. As you grow older- even if you are in your mid 2os- you hear this phrase a lot. People talk about how late it is to start over. How late it is to make a dramatic career change. To start a new relationship. As depressing and somewhat convenient to feel that way, it’s also insanely ridiculous. It is hard to shake the thoughts if you are living in to a society where people seem to be dying to start their careers and get married and have kids. And it looks like a lot of societies are like this. Hell, the first time I heard the words “my biological clock is ticking” was on American TV and the woman was merely in her late 20s. Come on, give me a break! I don’t know why people are so willing to conform to such inconvenient stuff. The fact that some people met the love of their loves in high school doesn’t automatically oblige you to marry your boyfriend at the moment in a rush. And if your friend has gotten his/her dream career at the age of 23, it is her life. Not yours. There is not a timeline everybody can follow or has to follow. Luckily, I manage to isolate myself from this syndrome most of the time. I used to have a strategy to cope. Whenever I seemed to be lose hope, I would remind myself that I would never forgive myself if I didn’t just work my ass off and didn’t do everything humanly possible. But then I read a great life story and well, I figured the advice in that book was much more effective and efficient. A Turkish drama student went to the Stated upon graduation. He was 26. He started to live the starving actor’s life, in a different country and at the age of 26. His name is Aykut “Ike” Ogut and about a decade later he was pretty much where he wanted to be – with still a lot of things to do for himself. Oh, and believe me the guy didn’t have it easy. He went through poverty, drinking too much, having health problems, depression…But he didn’t give up. And he made it. He jokes that he is yet to be in a movie with Tom Cruise. But from where I look, he is doing pretty good. He lived in L.A and New York, he played both little and big parts, he directed sound departments. He is happy, well-off and quite successful. Not the mention, it is quite a long and complicated journey. But he did it. First he had to start and he started at 26. So it is only natural that he would write a book on self-growth and motivation and how to achieve the stuff you want to achieve, no matter how insanely difficult it might seem. His words work just fine for me and I’m 25. And my plans are just as complicated, including the whole going to L.A. and making it in Hollywood thing. Of course he is only human and he does occasionally get depressed and wonder if he can pull some stuff off.Like writing this book when he was 35. Writing is hard and I can imagine how much endurance books will take. But he didn’t give in. This time he just read about the accomplishments of authors who got published after the age of 35. See? It’s a wonderful way for the mind to work.

Ogut’s advice relates all areas. I f you want to be an actor, but you are yet to start, you are supposed to encourage yourself by reading about people who have gone through similar paths. It is ridiculous to compare for an actress to be in her 20s to compare herself to Jodie Foster and say “Boy, I’m too late! I’m too old to start!” Well, by Jodie’s standards everybody is screwed. I mean she was acting in commercials when she was in diapers. She was acting with Robert De Niro when she was 13. You are not supposed to think like that. But by all means, please think about Gerard Butler. He actually has a law degree. He didn’t start acting until he was 25. Sure, he did fantasize about it but he didn’t even really try. He was from Scotland, and already in his mid-20s. But he hated the office and took his chances. Have you checked him out? He is one of Hollywood’s most sought after leading man. And Britain’s. He got to play Irish, Scottish and American roles. He did action, comedy, drama, romance AND musicals. He did theater and movies. This is the guy you should be reading about. Not Tom Cruise who got his first acting gig it in 19. You should also avoid the failure stories. Sure, not every one makes it but it doesn’t mean you are not going to be able to succeed.

It is not just about acting. It’s about everything. People can find true love at 50, or at 15. You can make your dreams come true at any age. Of course it might be tough if you try to be olympic-good at an athletic sport after 30,as Seth Godin puts it in his book “The Dip” . But other than that, you can bungee-jump at 83 (has been done and the guy is live. make sure to get some tests before though, just in case), you can be American and get to play in Japanese TV shows after you hit 30 (Timothy Ferris) or you can also get yourself published at 60. Of course I am not telling you to take it slow ans wait. I am just saying that whenever you get stuck, there are plenty of real life examples of people who come from similar backgrounds as you and that their stories are the perfect way to get inspired.

Oh sure, you will have a pessimistic friend who says he/she gets more depressed with stories like that. Hell, maybe even you are that easily depressed friend. You can always find an excuse not to put yourself out there. I am just trying to help out with finding the reasons not to stop trying.

It’s all about sales, dammit!

Posted on September 2, 2009 Written by ripitup

image: http://www.reiq.com.au/assets/Shop/Products/BookClub/Selling_is_Everyones_Business.jpg

I have never been interested in becoming a sales person, not directly. However, being the force behind the sales is intriguing, such as in advertising. After graduation, I started working at a consultancy firm. The premise sounded fun enough: The firm specialized in consulting people on language schools, universities, master degrees and certificate programs in different countries. It required interaction with people from all over the world and I loved that aspect. Yet, I also had to talk to people who came to the office and try to sell them the programs. Some programs were really promising and I wanted to join them myself, so I had no problem bragging about them. But some programs and most potential customers made my life really boring. The job also required mind-numbing data entry and worse, customer follow-up. You see, I don’t like to follow-up. When I am the customer, I hated to be followed up on. I believe that if people liked your pitch, they will come to you. I also believed non-aggressive pitching would make us even more distinguished since all our competitors looked downright desperate. But the boss man had other ideas. So I got bored and took off.

Then I got another job. A freelance, totally likable job. The title is customer relations/business development. The requirement though? I still had to talk to customers and potential customers-face to face and/or on the phone and persuade them to use our services. What at first sounded like a piece of cake, turned out to be a challenge since the customers have apparently turned into arrogant asses over the year. The results in the end weren’t worth the effort so we stopped the project all together.

image from: http://irrationalayush.files.wordpress.com/2009/06/sales-fail.jpg

Do you like sales? I am not asking if you like shopping during the sales seasons. Do you like the concept of selling? Do you like people stopping you every few meters to ask you questions about a new product/service or a reminder of a beloved organization and asking for donations? Do you enjoy being “stalked” by the seller, the persistence, the incapability to leave you alone; or do you just like it when they give you the space you need?

Shopping/buying can be a pain in the ass. But the funny thing is whether you like sales or not, whether you work as a salesperson or not- you have to sell somethings throughout your life and you have to do it constantly. Oh, I am pretty sure I wouldn’t be able to survive at the cash register at a supermarket. And I am sure life at any sort of box-office wouldn’t be fun unless you enjoy the interaction with people. But not only shopping assistants or street vendors sell. Not only telemarketers try to convince you to spend money.

selling yourself — Funny. But this is how the world works.

If you are in public relations, you are after selling a good image. The public is your audience.Your clients rely on you to develop the relationship. So you have to sell yourself to the client, to make them pay for your services.If you are in advertising, you need to sell your company and your campaigns. Oh-if you are not working in a service or product related business/shop/store, you still have to work your butt off trying to sell yourself.

Business, Engineering, IT…Whatever career you have picked, you need a CV and/or a portfolio. Then you can send it to your potential employer and then maybe get an interview. And then maybe get the job.

You might be a creative artist. Your job gets tougher. You need to go out there, make connections, send out sample, write beautifully crafted letters so that maybe,just maybe they will like your stuff and give you a chance.

It never ends. After all these years, all those box office hits, all those big shot actors and musicians are still out there, still selling themselves. Tours, premiers, award shows, interviews…All designed to sell the movie/record..whatever. If Keanu Reeves needs to sell his work, I guess I should shut up and stop complaining, right? Well, at least we LOVE what they are selling.

Keanu Reeves in The Lake House — Keanu has been in the industry for over 20 years. Yes, he is so rich he owns an island. But he still promotes his work. But hey, I love his line of work.

image from: celebritywonder.com

Why Jon Bon Jovi, Edward Burns and Timothy Ferris Ruined Us

Posted on June 30, 2009 Written by ripitup

They totally ruined it. They proved that indeed nothing is impossible if you have the soul, drive and guts.

They are self-made and they all started from scratch. Read on to see how they got to where they are (I also explain who they are, so keep reading even if you don’t know these guys or if you don’t know how they started).
Some people lead glamorous lives and live to talk about it. These are talented and driven people who have had the guts to try again and again until they’ve made it. These are the people who actually risked poverty (no,I am not being dramatic…OK-maybe a tad…), faced constant rejection and came back on top. My list has a lot of names,whose jobs I wanna have. Why do I feel they screwed me over? Because I know that there are people out there who made it,so I am tempted to try. Because I know am never gonna be satisfied with a simple paycheck and two days free in a week-and this is if you are lucky-in a city where there is so much traffic that you spend half your life on vehicles…Would I be considered such a dreamer had these people not existed? I don’t know…All I know is, life would be so much more boring.

So let’s start with the criteria: people like Gwyneth Paltrow don’t count. Born to parents in movie business??? So she is pretty and can act, but she has had the connections first!!!

So let’s go over Jon, Ed and Timothy.

1) Edward Burns: actor/director/writer/producer

You may not know him. I am a movie nut and he is one of my fav. guys in Hollywood. Does he make masterpieces? No, not really. Why do I like him so much? Because he is so multi-talented. He writes, directs, produces his movies and stars in them. Sometimes he does take part in other people’s projects but mostly he is this multi-functional movie maker. He writes heartfelt and down-to-earth stories. He writes the kind of stuff I write. And he has the job I dream about. I don’t have to direct, but I write screenplays. I would love to have the chance to make it into a movie,play the character of my choice.I don’t have to produce it. But I would love to get involved in choosing the songs for the soundtrack and give some ideas for the clothes. No, I am not a control freak. I am just fairly emotional. Because I wrote the story, I lived it in my head, I carried it around with me…It is my baby and I want Ed’s job!!!

2) Jon Bon Jovi: singer, song writer, guitar-player, actor

So he did have this cousin or something who worked in a record studio but that didn’t really help Jon gain anything apart from observing rockers, cleaning the floors and recording at night when the place was empty. He worked at crappy jobs and worked his ass off to get noticed by the music industry. He started from 0, made all his dreams come true…Hell, the guy went beyond his dreams. He is the singer of my favorite band ever, he writes most of the songs and when he’s not touring or recording with the band, he is acting. He started acting from scratch too. He has played in a number of movies, got both big and small roles. He even co-stars in one of Edward Burns’ movies. Gotta respect this guy…

Love Jon Bon Jovi? The Band? Both?:

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3) Timothy Ferris: entrepreneur,writer,wrestler,tango dancer,actor…

Up until April 2009, I had a regular office job. I didn’t like it, I just needed it to save money. Time lost in traffic and lonely lunches ( my co-workers weren’t really outgoing) gave me a lot time to read…I decided it was research time. I was buying anything I could get my hands on about writing, getting published and freelancing. And this guy had written the marketing book with the most appealing title ever: The 4-Hour Work Week. The cover included a hammock…The more I read, the more hooked I got. He had started out as a guy who worked in an office. Then he realized he wanted more to his life. Are you wondering how he managed to pull more titles than Jon and Ed combined? He founded his own business. Became his own boss. Of course the process that led to this is complicated and I’ll be covering his book in a post dedicated to it alone. But let me just say, he now has enough money and time go and dance the Tango in Argentina, learn languages,star in TV shows in Asia and become a professional wrestler. He talks about how we can market our ideas and turn it into cash, how we don’t need to be millionaires to live like them and well…isn’t it enough?

But the guy with the most imitable strategies is not doubt Ferriss. Edward was lucky enough to be born in New York. Jon had the relative’s studio to wipe the floors of. Tim is a businessman. He is self-made. He has trained himself in so many areas and he has been having the time of his life ever since he set up his business. I don’t have Jon’s voice or musical talent. I don’t have the 25.000 $ Ed used to shoot his first movie “The Brothers McMullen” . Don’t get me wrong, he accomplished a major thing. However, 25.000 $ is a huge sum to me and to a lot of people but in Hollywood terms,it is nothing. He managed to scrape it together. Do you know his modest movie earned? 10,000,000 $ !!!! You can calculate the profits,right? His second movie had Cameron Diaz and Jennifer Anniston. But I don’t have any resources to get that first 25.000. If I do find 25 grand, it will be spent on one of the film schools I’ve been dying to go to. So I will combine everything I’ve learned from Tim, plus the drive and the relentlessness of Ed and Jon and fingers crossed, I will make my own dreams come true. What are they? Apart from becoming the female Ed Burns of my generation? To become a best-seller novelist, a freelance non-fiction writer for all my favorite magazines, a great dancer, speaker of 4 different languages, a really good-guitar player….Oh I have more. If you think I am wasting time writing this blog, you are wrong. The thing is, I have already gotten to work. Blogging is a part of the plan.

Now tell me, what are you waiting for?