I am not against mariage, let’s start with that. It is a lovely concept; if you have found someone you are sure you would like to spend your lifetime with- someone who you are madly in love with and the person feels the same about you. Someone you can joke around with, be yourself with and someone you love because they are who they are; not despite who they are.
But I find it really hard to believe that everyone has found that person in their early/mid 20s. And that the majority of the married couples in late 20s/early 30s are considering making babies. Whoa! Will everyone slow down for a minute? When did all this happen? I am in my mid 2os and definitely not opposed to romance and passion and some casual flirtation thrown in for good measure but marriage??? Children??? In-laws??? Calling your partner’s parents “Mom” and “Dad”?? I am in the process of finding out a plan to make my dreams come true, to gain true financial independence and to just go crazy and all that. I am not saying I don’t want to find someone. But right now, I don’t want to go into that forever business. Even if this amazing person comes along and happens to be as nuts as I am and have similar dreams and such, we wouldn’t get married. Not now!!! I mean come on!!!! And it is alright if he doesn’t appear in these chapters in my life. Oh of course I complain about being single. But what I actually mean is that I don’t have enough fun with the opposite sex at the moment. I don’t have numbers to call when I want to party all night and dance until dawn. I don’t get to meet hot strangers and flirt with them. That’s what I complain about. I think that even having a serious commitment is huge, that moving in is totally unnecessary and very scary. So how come are people so eager to jump into marriage?
It starts about during the last year of university. Friends/friends of friends start to get married. But the number isn’t that large. Then you graduate and invitations start piling up. People barely out of college talk weddings and budgets and that. You take a job and your boss who is not even 10 years older than you, is married and is considering having a baby. Oh and by my boss, I mean a guy who co-runs a music site and deals with studios and bars and all that. I meet long- haired, metal-loving guys who look like they came straight out of a 90s Metallica concert and see rings on their fingers.
When did everyone get married? Ok, so maybe- it is not that big of a stretch for 35 year-olds being married but people my age? What’s up with that? The wedding dresses, furniture hunting?
I don’t mean to be cynical. I am sure there are a lot of actual feelings and “eternal bliss” involved. But I also believe that the overworking biological clocks and the seeming convenience of it have increased the numbers. It is just that not everyone has to be married and/or have a baby. It sucks if people are doing it because they think it is time or because they get to have regular sex. It sucks if they are doing it because they parents would rather have them tie the knot than have them live together..I really hope the marriages do work out.
I am a romantic of the worst kind. But I also am addicted to excitement and adventure and discovery. I am thinking there will be people in my life who get me. Until that happens, I will enjoy the ride. It might get lonely but I have never been the one to follow majority and I am not about to start now.
Hilal says
“I don’t have enough fun with the opposite sex at the moment”
I loved that sentence, after all I am not having that much fun either…
pelin says
me ,too. but I have to say that if I find my love, I want to get married with him. I am sorry, I am in the majority sis.:S. I guess it changes from person to person.
zoey says
Sweetie, I have nothing against marriage. In fact if it is out of love and passion, I am all for it. But I don’t like it when people just rush into it for practical reasons. It just kills the romance. I also don’t like it when people feel obligated.