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Can Vampires Suck Rock? : Pre-review of the Twilight Spoof Vampires Suck

Posted on July 24, 2010 Written by ripitup

Vampires Suck- the Twilight spoof movie — Will Vampires Suck rock or suck?We will all see. Image via divxplanet.com

It was about time someone spoofed the Twilight movies. I actually like the series, but you know Hollywood loves creating spoofs of whatever is the hit movie of the time. Have you ever seen Emilio Estevez in Loaded Weapon? Please check it out – especially if you have seen or heard of Basic Instinct, Lethal Weapon series and any Clint Eastwood action/western. In fact, I watched Loaded Weapon before I saw Lethal Weapon and loved how funny was. I saw Lethal Weapon afterwards and it is now one of my favorite series of all times.

Another two great spoofs I have seen are not movies but Saturday Night Live stunts: One of 300 and one of Braveheart- both starring Gerard Butler. Given that Gerard Butler starred in the original 300 movie and is spoofing his own character and that he is a Scot make both spoofs even more hilarious. And I never thought I would enjoy something that makes fun of Braveheart as it is my favorite movie. But when something is funny as hell, you got to give its due.

So a good spoof is fun to watch, regardless of how you feel about the original. I am actually a fan of the Twilight series. I accept and enjoy the saga for what it is: an absolute female romantic fantasy with some action thrown in.

But even the title of this spoof- Vampires Suck- made me laugh so I checked out its trailer and laughed out loud. Vampires Suck is a brilliant title from whatever meaning you look at it- and the trailer is very funny. They have made fun of the plot, the way the actors are (under)dressed, the villains, the good guys and everything else. And I simply adored the delivery guy, Black Eyed Peas and the contract jokes. The movie is supposed to come out in August and the lead vampire’s name is Edward Sullen. Enjoy.

[pro-player width=’530′ height=’253′ type=’video’]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vHkPJ1ACLrg&feature=related[/pro-player]

Here’s the trailer’s link, in case the video doesn’t work:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vHkPJ1ACLrg&feature=related

But if you want trivia and reviews on the actual Twilight Saga- this is the ultimate link:

The Ultimate Twilight Movies and Cast Resources: 15 Posts on The Twilight Saga

The Sorcerer’s Apprentice starring Nicholas Cage, Monica Belluci, Jay Baruchel and Teresa Palmer

Posted on July 23, 2010 Written by ripitup

The Sorcerer's Apprentice movie poster, starring Nicholas Cage — The Sorcerer's Apprentice starring Nicholas Cage, Jay Baruchel, Alfred Molina, Monica Belluci and Teresa Palmer. Directed by Jon Turteltaub. Image via disnology.com

Balthazar Blake (Nicholas Cage), Veronica (Monica Belluci) and Horvath (Alfred Molina) are sorcerer apprentices to Merlin. They are all very powerful and are supposed to use magic for humanity. When Horvath makes a deal with the evil sorcerer Morgana (Alice Krige), steals a powerful magic and attacks them, Veronica imprisons Morgana in herself ;and herself in a “grimhold” to save Balthazar and the world. Before Merlin dies, he tells Balthazar that he needs to find ther “premerlinian” (I have no idea how to spell that!!)- a sorcerer so powerful that he will be able to destroy Morgana. So Baltahazar searches for this special person for over a thousand years, with no avail.

Come 2000 and by coincidence, the child he is looking for walks into Balthazar’s shop. His name is David Strutter, he is 10 and he is in love with his classmate Becky. Just when Balthazar gives him his special ring and tries to explain his purpose, David accidentally sets Horvath free. This ends in Balthazar imprisoning himself and Horvath in a grimhold and David running away.

Come 2010,David (Jay Baruchel) is a total physics nerd, working on a Tesla related thesis. When he runs into Becky (Teresa Palmer) at the university, he can’t believe his luck. But just when he believes he has a shot with her, Balthazar and Horvath reappear. Balthazar starts training David and involuntarily lets him date as well. In the meantime, Horvath is trying to find himself other sorcerers who can help him with his mission.

Of course Horvath can’t be trusted, Balthazar has a hard time convincing David he is the one and we find about the real reason why Horvath betrayed them.

The Sorcerer’s Apprentice is an absolute summer fun. This summer gave us totally entertaining action/adventure films with romantic subplots on the side and really good jokes. After Iron Man 2, Prince of Persia The Sands of Time and Knight and Day, we get another fun movie that totally entertains. I couldn’t have cared less if Inception topped this one at the box office. The script is really well-balanced, Nicholas Cage is totally lovely and funny as Balthazar, Alfred Molina makes a fine villain (Chocolat, Spider Man 2) and Monica Belluci is gorgeous as always.

I really liked Jay Baruchel and Teresa Palmer’s performances as well. The comic timing, action sequences with magic , special affects and chemistry between the cast complement each other perfectly. I laughed a lot and had a great time. This movie is directed by Jon Turteltaub, and I have always loved his directing, regardless of the genre. He has also directed the National Treasure films starring Nicholas Cage, While You Were Sleeping and Phenomenon.

The Sorcerer’s Apprentice is a Jerry Bruckheimer production. It was written by Lawrence Konner, Mark Rosenthal, Matt Lopez, Doug Miro and Carlo Bernhard.

But of course keep in mind I love the combination of action/comedy/romance and I am not that into magic.I don’t likethe Harry Potter series. But I am a fan of Cage and Molina and they deliver, big time.

Trailer 1

[pro-player width=’530′ height=’253′ type=’video’]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9VZllR44gdA[/pro-player]

Trailer 2

[pro-player width=’530′ height=’253′ type=’video’]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=K7ZL3XjwL0E[/pro-player]

8/10. Perfect escapism!

Woody Allen’s Vicky Cristina Barcelona starring Scarlett Johansson, Javier Bardem, Rebecca Hall and Penélope Cruz

Posted on July 21, 2010 Written by ripitup

Vicky Cristina Barcelona starring Javier Bardem, Rebecca Hall, Scarlett Johannson and Penélope Cruz. Written and directed by Woody Allen. 2008. Image via:vickycristinabarcelona.files.wordpress.com

There might be spoilers in this review but trust me: there won’t be anything you haven’t predicted from the poster or trailer.

Vicky (Rebecca Hall) and Cristina (Scarlett Johannson) are good friends who come to Barcelona for the summer. They are pretty opposite when it comes to their views about romance, love and relationships as the film’s narrator (Christopher Evan Welch) informs us: Vicky values commitment and is engaged to be married (to Doug-played by Chris Messina). Cristina loves drama and passion and even though she doesn’t know what she wants from a relationship, she is sure she is not striving for the stability Vicky seems to be so fond of.

With the occasional but not overly intrusive additions from the narrator, we follow the girls to the house (family friend of Vicky’ s- played by Patricia Clarkson) they will be staying at, going to an art gallery and meeting the movie’s leading guy: Juan Antonio (Javier Bardem).While Cristina is fascinated about what he learns about the guy (that he is a painter and had a violent relationship with his ex-wife Maria Elena/played by Penelope Cruz) and his good looks, Vicky seems less than impressed. She seems even less happy when Antonio comes over to meet them and offers to sleep with them both. He offers a weekend trip and obviously it is up to the girls whether they want to have sex or not. While Vicky is outraged, Cristina has loved how upfront Antonio is and finds him absolutely charming. So despite her better senses, Vicky follows Cristina to the place Antonio takes them. However when Cristina gets sick, Vicky is left to spend time with Antonio and to her surprise, she realizes she does want him- a lot!

Guess what happens afterwards? Although Juan Antonio can’t have the threesome he envisioned, he does managed to bed Vicky first and Cristina later- who doesn’t know about the night with Vicky. Now, we have a guilty and confused Vicky, an experimental Cristina who doesn’t even seem to mind when his psychotic ex-wife (Penelope Cruz) comes into the picture. In fact, she even “experiments” with her. Even though this love triangle seems to be working for a while, Mary Elena is highly unstable and neither Vicky nor her fiancé were ever out of the picture.

Written and directed by Woody Allen, this film is easy to watch and is entertaining. However I need to warn you: I am not a Woody Allen fan and most of his films bored me to death as I don’t usually his share his views on relationships or his sense of humor. And for me, Vicky Cristina Barcelona was a popcorn film- an entertaining, light comedy so I totally disagree with IMDB’s genre labels: drama and romance. There is nothing romantic or dramatic about this film. It is a fun little love rectangle to watch with some real eye candy for both sexes, beautiful location that is Barcelona and great music. This film is a nicely told male fantasy. Think about it: a painter charms the pants out of two good friends and one of them would probably have a threesome if the other one had been up for it. Then the experimental girl sleeps with his ex-wife…Seriously! A man gets to have all three women in one movie, two of who have sex with each other and one of these women is Penelope Cruz. The other is Scarlett Johannson. While Javier Bardem is certainly a good-looking guy, he is not that cute. No man is.

Sure, it is a common female fantasy to meet a stranger on exotic soil and have a romantic night or two with him. But those fantasies most often don’t involve best friends, lesbian sex, threesomes and cheating on lovely fiancés. But then again, if your idea of romance and fantasy are anything in line with Woody Allen’s mentality, you will disagree with me. Yes, I disagree with the guy’s outlook on life- he slept with his adopted daughter, for God’s sake!

But I’ll say it again, this movie is a fun comedy. And it does make me want to go to Barcelona. And I’ll rate it a 6/10 (it is rated a 7.4 on IMDB). But if you don’t watch this movie, you won’t have missed a thing.

Note: There is one thing romantic about this film: Javier Bardem and Penélope Cruz started dating during the shoot and now they are married.

I Love You, Man starring Paul Rudd and Jason Segel

Posted on July 19, 2010 Written by ripitup

I Love You Man starring Paul Rudd, Jason Segel and Rashida Jones. Image via collider.com

Peter Klaven (Paul Rudd) is under the impression that his life is perfect. After all, he enjoys his job as a real estate agent and his girlfriend Zooey (Rahida Jones) said yes to his proposal. But as her friends and his family find about their marriage plans, it becomes painfully obvious that Peter doesn’t have any male friends who can be his best man. Zooey’s friend Denise (Jaime Pressly) tries to get him into the group of her grumpy husband Barry (Jon Favreau)’s poker buddies while his gay brother Robbie (Andy Samberg) and his mother (Jane Curtin) fix him up with man-dates. However all these efforts end in disaster as the men either turn up to be weird, annoying or simply gay.

But soon after Peter meets Sydney Fife (Jason Segel) and it seems like it is a male friendship made in heaven. Sydney is fun, upfront, straight, has a good job, a garage full of guitars, loves the band Rush and he really does enjoy hanging out with Peter. While this newly found friendship makes Zooey at first, it slowly puts a strain on the relationship. After all Sydney is too blunt (his wedding toast suggest Zooey should give Peter “bj”s.), he loves being the ultimate bachelor and questions why Peter is getting married at all and he wants to hang out with him very often. Moreover he seems to have odd ideas on how to make Peter sell more houses- which end up pissing off his boss…

How will Peter manage to balance his problems at work, not losing Zooey and not screwing up his friendship?

A male friend recommended this to me as a very entertaining guy flick and he was right. It is really fun and original. Do not be turned off by the term guy flick because it is a very unisex movie. You may not enjoy watching this with kids or parents, but it is perfect to see alone, with friends or with your date. And you can’t say that for a lot of movies.

I love the whole cast. I always found J. K Simmons (he plays Peter’s father) hilarious, I really crack up every time I see Jane Curtin (a habit from watching the hilarious sitcom 3^rd Rock from the Sun). Jon Favreau (Vince Vaughn’s writing/acting buddy- director of Iron Man films) seems to love characters that are not easy to get along with and talk way too much as he keeps playing them. But it is OK because is made for these roles. You probably know Andy Samberg from Saturday Night Live. You can watch this hilarious SNL stint where Andy keeps punching everyone. Rashida Jones starred in the mini romcom series NY-LON with True Blood’s Bill (Stephen Moyer) that takes place in both London and New York, hence the name.

Don’t expect a laugh-out-loud comedy. As much as I watched the film with a huge grin on my face, I didn’t really get stomach cramps. For more laughter, I will suggest watching Forgetting Sarah Marshall. It also stars Jason Segel and features Paul Rudd in a small but fun role.

That being said, I have no objection to this film’s high rating 7.3 rating. Written by John Hamburg and Larry Levin, directed by John Hamburg. Made in 2009. Click to watch “I love you, man” trailer on youtube.

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