Meaning: Love you forever.

Cæcilie (Sonja Richter) has recently accepted the proposal of his live-in boyfriend Joachim (Nikolaj Lie Kaas). But shortly after Joachim is hit by a car, ending up paralyzed.

The woman (Paprika Steen) driving the car is Marie, who was having an argument with her teenage daughter Stine. They race Joachim to the hospital where her doctor husband Niels (Mads Mikkelsen) is also working.

The po lice decides that Marie wasn’t at fault, but both she and her daughter are deeply shaken up, though not as much as Cæcilie, and definitely not as much as Joachim. He is too angry and depressed to let Cæcilie in, leaving her helpless. Niels becomes the only person she can talk to, as he’s encouraged by his wife to help her.

From then on, Cæcilie calls Niels often, finding a shoulder to cry on. Not over her guilt, Marie is happy that he is helping Cæcilie in a way. But soon Niels develops feelings for Cæcilie , and a guy who’s ever-helpful and sweet seems more attractive than a fiancé who keeps shutting her out in hurtful ways.

But for a guy who has never cheated on his wife before, things are about to get complicated. A wife and 3 children on one end, a beautiful young and sad woman on the other. Who will choose who? Can there even be a happy ending for anyone?

Elsker dig for evigt: Good but evokes extreme cynicism

*Warning: Minor Spoilers, and a Rant on the major characters

The film is good and compelling alright. It is tragic, makes you truly depressed as well as being thankful that you are not any of the characters. I know I was. But the characters go beyond to assure we will be infuriated with them, no matter how sad and compassionate we may have felt for them in the beginning. I may like a movie, but it won’t be a favorite romance of mine when I root for everyone but the “lovers”.

You know from the start you will not probably not be impressed with the love story presented. A married man with 3 children, getting involved with the fiancé of a paralyzed guy who became paralyzed because of his wife? Yep, no one is exactly expecting something deeply romantic and sweet here.

But sometimes, you are ready to forgive the cheater(s) with the right circumstances. It’d be cool if the wife was a bitch, and/or already cheated on him and he knows it. Or if the girl had lost her fiancé- and was coming to terms with his loss and not having sex with the married with the doctor while he is in his hospital bed.

Yes, we can all give her a little break assuming her messed up psychology-after all she went from happily and truly loved up to completely excluded and alone…But how she could let go off all empathy and not imagine how she would have felt if her husband would go and sleep with another woman after so many years of marriage and children? She was engaged after all. Let’s call it severe depression, and try to be more forgiving. I’m trying to be open-minded, but still failing.

How annoying is a guy that sleeps with a woman in that condition, not giving a damn about all the years his wife spent with him? Hell, maybe this is the only needy, affection-deprived 25-year-old who was willing to screw him so that is the reason he was a loyal husband all those years? But seriously though-is that all it takes? Some guys are only loyal because they are too lazy to go after women, but are more than willing to go for it when the opportunity is presented on a golden plate? That’s seriously depressing.

And the wife? Come on…Why do you still want him after how he has treated you? At least do kick him, throw things at him or something. Shred his clothes. But no, she has to hate the other woman. But guess what, the other woman only became so after she pushed her on her husband. You don’t make your husband a 25-year-old emotionally damaged woman’s best friend! You just don’t.

So yes, it is a perfectly alright film- well-shot (although I could have done without the dogma-style shots), well-acted, well-developed. It is the characters that are not exactly likeable, although except perhaps for Joachim-he lost the most, and it is understandable that he’d be difficult.

But if this movie doesn’t make you feel a little depressed about marriage, love, loyalty and life in general, I don’t know what will. If the premise of Mads mikkelsen’s The Hunt (where he is falsely accused of harassing a kindergarten kid) makes me not so keen on having children, Elsker dig for evigt makes seem the idea of marriage…not very tempting. I know it is only a movie…but it is a pretty bleak and powerful one.

Written by Anders Thomas Jensen and directed by Susanne Bier- who also worked as a writer-director team on After the Wedding, also starring Mads Mikkelsen. 2002 film Elsker dig for evigt is rated at 7.6 on IMDB by over 4,000 users. A solid 7.5 from me.

*

In the end, I prefer 21 Grams when it comes to “a freaky accident makes characters collide in complicated ways” premise. Depressing as that movie may be, no one goes around cheating on each other (well at least not anyone with kids, a nice marriage and a sweet wife), the guilt of the “crasher” feels more natural and real and the “comforter”… well, his (Sean Penn’s character) wife wasn’t that nice to begin with.

*

Let’s have some fun. Lessons learned from: Elsker dig for evigt

All characters do some pretty stupid and/or reckless stuff in the film, so the tips go to different characters. You know who. : )

-Panic when your husband is depriving you of sex- he might not be so depriving towards others.

-Tell the girl what might come 15 years after a marriage with kids.

-Don’t get out of the car in the middle of the road, and don’t overdo the PDA thing, especially not in the middle of the road!

– There should be a limit on how much you trust your husband

– Have some friends-so that when your boyfriend is depressed beyond words, you can have someone to talk to other than the husband of the woman who caused your boyfriend’s situation.

– Have a separate circle of friends from your husband’s –and make sure you are not too close with jerks who thinks it is awesome to be cheating on your wife (as long as you don’t leave the family.)

-Don’t stay home so you will know a lot of people and hey, maybe there will be hot guys who can comfort you –so you won’t be begging your scumbag-cheating husband to stay (the first bit is wishful thinking. It would suck to be her either way.)